In the beginning....

So, lets see...
In October, close to Halloween, I was laying on my side, on my couch and chatting on the phone, when I had to tuck my breast back into my bra, because I had lost some weight, and went from a DD to a C cup and they kept falling out.
While doing that, I noticed that I had a lump the size of a Cadburry Egg on the side.
I showed this to the NP at Breast clinic the next day, and asked her if I needed to take off time from work to see my Dr. to have her look at it.
She checked it and said "yup" make an appt.
I did, and she sent me for Diagnostic ultrasound and mammogram
They showed a mass...
Appt. after appt. for different things and re-do's showed that I had invasive cancer on the right side and incitu on the left (in 2 places)
Long story short.... Or short made long, I finally got a chance to see my cancer Surgeon, and she recommended a Bilateral Mastectomy with a Free Flap Reconstruction at the time of the cancer removal.

I now have to wait for the surgeons office to call me, with the next two appointments, one for the Plastic surgeon, and one for the Oncologist.

I have to find out if i am a candidate for the Free Flap reconstruction from the plastic surgeon, and if I am, I can have that done at the time of the main removal surgery.
The free flap is where they take the fat from my belly (sure, now that I lost weight, now they want my fat) and move it up to make me new boobs.  That would be the most realistic reconstruction, but sometimes that fails, and the blood vessels don't remain as vital as they were at their origin site.  So, if that doesn't work, they can put implants in, less realistic, but still do able.

But, if all goes well with the plastic surgeon, and they say I am healthy enough to undergo the very long surgery, then they will set up a date for me to have this done.
The surgery for the mastectomy is about 2 1/2 hours
the reconstruction is about 12 hours.
4-5 days in hospital
5-6 weeks off recovery
Yipes.
But, bottom line, it is what, after all this time of thinking about this and that, it is what I was hoping they would suggest.
I don't ever want to deal with this again, and I have a good 40 years left to live, so I don't want, a few years down the road, to be given a diagnosis that it is back, and think... WOW, had I just not gotten the lumpectomy, but instead gotten the full mastectomy, I would not have had to deal with this.  Now don't get me wrong, I know it can come back if it wants to, but this way, I can say to myself, wow, I did everything I could to keep this gone, and away, but it still came around again. I will feel much better with that, than to think I went the other route, and did not do everything I could to get ride of it, scorch the earth, salt the earth and re plant.
yea, that was ambereeze for Lets Do It!!! take um.

I may sound brave, and I may sound like all is right in my world, but to tell the truth, I am scared to death, and I am not happy with this whole thing.  Though, I am very happy everything was found early etc etc... As one of my best friend said... I was looking forward to that phone call that someone would say April Fool's.  Just kidding,. I did not get that phone call.
I will be just fine.
There is no other option, now is there??
so Fine I shall be.

I will post when I know about the new appts. and when the surgery will be done.

Thanks for following along.

Oh, yea, I almost forgot...
funny, it is the part I would like to forget.
the chemo and that doctor.
I have a tumor the size that is right on the borderline of "yes" and "no" for whether or not it needs chemo.
I figure I am going to take this time out of my life to fight this thing, so lets just do it.  I am not wanting to do this, but I would rather (once again) say I did everything EVERYTHING I could to make this go away and stay away, and I would not be happy, if in a bit of time something came back and I would have ot say, due to my vanity and my personal comfort, I chose to not push for the aggressive treatment.
I don't want that.
So when I meet with my oncologist, I will ask him if I can go the "better safe than sorry route"
At that point it is in his hands.

Alrighty..
till next time.
Remember.... the light at the end of the tunnel, just may be You~
Have a good one.