A dry sponge in a very Very wet room...

Well hello there.
I bet you are wondering how last night went..
Well, have a seat, I will try to make this short.

I went in, smiled at the 5 or so ladies, then took a seat on the couch (it is shaped like a very large U, so I sat at the bottom left of the letter, and waited for everyone else to show up.

For those of you that don't know, I am a very Very strong Empath.  If you are hurting, or angry and I hug you, you will feel so so so much better, and I will have absorbed it all from you.  It is not something I have control over, it just happens.  Now, if you are REALLY hurting and REALLY angry, all I have to do is be near you, or in the same room, and I will absorb the energy and take it with me, then when I get away from the situation, I find that I am now Angry, or Hurting, or what ever it was. These emotions are not My emotions, they are the other peoples, and I have absorbed them like a dry sponge in a wet sink.   It took me many many years to figure this out, and even though now I know about this, it still doesn't help in the dealing with it.  I really need to learn how to shield myself so I don't pick everything up.  (any advice would be greatly appreciated)

So, back to my hopefully short story.
I can feel heat and heavy energy to my right, of the lady already there, it is just shimmering like the heat off of the blackest asphalt on a 110 degree day.  WOW... something was going on, and she was just radiating with it.  I didn't sit too close to her.  To my left, is a more comfortable blue energy, with spots of fog, but that usually means calm with issues that are being hid.  Normally.  So because that was a much better option, I sat closer to that woman.  
There was still room on both sides of me available and then a very ethereal soft white/pink lady came in, she was about 6 feet tall, about 25 years old, and she felt like a cloud.  I was glad she sat down between the radiator and myself.
After her a few others came in, then this ball of energy came in, it was bright and it was uncomfortably reaching (like hands in a prison that reach out as you walk by) she sat down between the calm on my left and myself.  Oh well, at least I had the cloud on my right.

We went around and everyone introduced themselves and briefly explained what their cancer was and what stage of rebuild or not they were in, and what treatment they are going through or just finishing up.
It was then my turn, and I think I kept it short and to the point. 
The cloud next to me softly interjected some great advice about the Braca testing and my children
Then the Ball of energy started in about everything.... wow the feeling of desperation and need just began... I found myself scooting away unconsciously.
Then as she slowed down, the radiator on the other side, began her vent.   Oh My, the anger that just blew out of her nearly slapped me. 
I thought, through this all, I was not being affected, I thought I was in the clear....
Um, No~ 

At the end of the night, we all said good night, and I left, I was feeling desperate, and angry and hopeless...
I pushed those down thinking I was being silly...
Yes, the ladies did talk about horrible stuff, things I did not want to hear about, or the reality of them... But it should not have affected me this much.  I have been dealing with this information for months now, I have pretty much swallowed that particular pill.   This was new and it took me stopping by my moms, to tell her how the meeting went, till it hit me.  These were not my emotions at all, I had absorbed all the others in the room, till I was a max capacity.  I figured this out because as I am talking to my mom, I am just itchy with agitation, and i am pissed the hell off.  I can't focus on what she is saying, because I just want to say Shut Up! shut up, shut up..  WOW... that was sooo not me. 
That was the radiator on my rights's emotions.
I also felt desperate and hopeless... again, not mine.  That was the Reacher on the left of me.
Hum...
So the feeling when I walked out of there, wondering why the hell I went to this, it made NOTHING better, nothing at all, if not it made things worse.  I understood. It was other peoples stuff, and my mind trying to wrap around the experience.

So, I will go again next week, and by that time, I hope to have found a coping mechanism for the sponge syndrome.  I really would like to get something out of this and give something back too, if possible.  But if I leave again next week, feeling like I did last night, I can't say I will keep this up.

On the up side.  One of the ladies had a bilateral mastectomy with invasive on one side and in-sigh-too on the other, and they only did a sentinel node biopsy on the one side with invasive, and when the pathology report came back, the in-sigh-too side had invasive as well, that they were not aware of.  Making it impossible to check those lymph nodes, because they took the nipple, the ducts, and everything that lead up to them... so they are just leaving them because the only other option would be to remove them all (not a good thing)
So. I contacted my surgeon, to make sure that even though I only have invasive on one side, we will be doing the biopsy on both sides, to be sure that same scenario will not happen with me.
She assured me that it was already taken care of, and that it will be done.
I could breath a sigh of relief.
I love my surgeon.

Today is a new day, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, I got a good nights sleep for the last two nights in a row, I have lunch with my son in a few moments, and dinner with my dad and rosie tonight.  Life, she is good. (she is busy, but...) Life she is Very Very Good!!!